Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

My wife admitted to cheating on me with a married man. Should I tell this man and his wife that I know?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Humans have evolved and become hairless and odor free. How do other races learn about evolution since evolution does not apply to them?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I see through liars

I know who the president of Turkey really is

My grandmother deeded me her house before she passed last year. Her son still lives there refusing to move. What steps should I take to have him removed?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

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I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

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I have a reading level above third grade

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I gave him everything. He said he loved me. Why?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

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It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

How does gut health affect mental well-being?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

You guys are talking about having sex with dogs. I heard a news man was trying to have sex with a female dog and got stuck inside. Is that possible? How does it feel inside a dog’s vagina?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t buy bullshit

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I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Why does a college girl cover her face with a scarf in Bangalore?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

The Roman Empire at the time of Christ kept meticulous records. Why then, is there no record of the trial of Jesus?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

What are some tips for making your husband fall madly in love with you again after going through the worst phase of your marriage?

I can count

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

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Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I can read

So who has worn a cock cage. One of my guy FWBs put one on me last Sunday and left with the keys? I was very nervous at first but have calmed down. Told me he'll unlock it tomorrow.. Let me know.

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I actually pay taxes

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP